Mahanth is Editor of mahanth.org

URGENT STATEMENT:

1. I simply could not wait any longer and decided to get ahead of this story before the reporters begin camping out at my undisclosed location domicile’s front yard at *REDACTED REDACTED.* *REDACTED REDACTED.* .
2. This is a selfless public service.
3. Whoever may or may not have been the “Mahanth Joishy” who exchanged an increasingly proliferating number of emails with Jeffrey Epstein, if such a person even existed at any past time or still exists at present, was not me, or “This Mahanth.” Maybe we should call that one “That Mahanth.” It was another brown named “Mahanth Joishy.” Also, don’t forget that *REDACTED REDACTED.* and even worse, *REDACTED REDACTED.* or maybe *REDACTED REDACTED.* .
4. Whoever may or may not have been the “That Mahanth” (allegedly) who visited Epstein’s Underage Island (EUI) with no belongings except a toiletry kit, Crocs, a purple silk robe, tight black Speedos, and an eye patch was definitely not “This Mahanth.” Perhaps “That Mahanth” was another brown “Mahanth.” If such a person even existed at any past time or still exists at present. Also, *REDACTED REDACTED.* and purple being my favorite color is no more than what we would legally label as, “unfortunate coincidence.”
5. Nefarious AI doctorative activity is responsible for any EUI geolocated, alleged video, audio, or photographic likenesses to me, “This Mahanth” who was at the time freezing his ass off in Wisconsin (see Exhibits A, B, and X), and any emails in my name were no less than or equally doctored as visual and audio content used to smear my good name by some nefarious and stupid AI algorithm, the brainchild of my rivals in South Asia. Also, *REDACTED REDACTED.* and also *REDACTED REDACTED.*
6. If you were an ex-girlfriend of mine during any of the dates for above alleged content, such as *REDACTED REDACTED.*, I’m sorry. Please call me and I will NOT explain, I will instead block you. Yes, that means you, *REDACTED REDACTED.* and you *REDACTED REDACTED.* and DEFINITELY you *REDACTED REDACTED.*
7. I was in no way involved in the murder, I mean, suicide. As for the witness *REDACTED REDACTED.* they will no longer be a problem, my security guys assure me.
8. Wait, what are we talking about again? I have a medical lack of mental health & unwellness condition that makes me forget mid-sentence what we were talking about, and it only rears its ugly head when forced to confront the past trauma I felt from the doctored images of Speedos shoved in my face.
9. F*** the F*** ing British Royal Family! Was this incestuous and racist sobfest not enough for you?

DISCLAIMER: My publicist forced me to write this before my lawyer forced me to over-write this. In no way am I making light of serious and disgusting alleged crimes or convicted crimes. I bet they are all true and there’s far worse to come. That’s how money and power are SUPPOSED to work!

To all of you riveted by this sordid scandal and the slow drip-drip of piecemeal or incorrect or useless information for almost 20 years, I am sorry. You will never get those hours of your life back. And you don’t deserve to either.